Life has changed. It has changed for the better. With all changes come challenges, and with all challenges come more chances for failure. It is how you deal with these changes that define you. My world completely changed in January of this year. I now have a son. Yes, I have two other children, and claim them as my own, but all you stepparents out there have to admit, having one of your own flesh and blood is different in some ways.
When I look around, life just seems different now. Priorities are different than they were before. Seeing this little guy take shape, come into the world, and now begin the journey into being the wonderful creation that he will become, is something I never thought that I would witness. For those of you that heard me claim, for years, that I would never have kids. Yes, eating those words has never tasted so good :) That being said, things like this are not without challenges.
One of the most important things that he has brought with him, has been self-reflection. Having my own son out there in the world really puts into stark contrast behaviors that I have developed, and those that are just baked into my being. You realize so much more about yourself, your parenting style, your hopes, and your fears, when they are alive right in front of you. Never has providing a safe, secure home for my family been more important to me.
The decision to sell our house and move was definitely not one that we even had on our radar at the beginning of the year. Our minds were focused elsewhere. Yet, an opportunity presented itself, and in the midst of bringing this new life into the world, and having two kids in middle school, we decided that God was providing an opportunity that we couldn’t pass up. We started the process in May, and our new home will be ready near the end of October, but the journey has been a long one. I won’t go into details, but you never realize how much having ‘your space’ is important, until you have none.
Along this path that we are walking, circumstances have brought Natalie and I closer together, and helped our family of five grow in ways that only pressure can. They have been good ones, but occasionally feel more like a crucible of patience than a walk in the park. Taking time, when there is none, has become a new life skill. Even if the day has been long, everyone is exhausted, and I just want a moment to myself, there is always that little baby saying, ‘da da da da’, and reviving the mood in the room. Honestly, you’d think times like this would be harder with the baby, but I think that his presence has made things much more bearable. Seeing those looks of innocence, joy, and discovery cross his face are something I would never change.